If, like me, you are slightly OCD, you have probably spent a few good seconds everytime you use a blender thinking "what if I put my finger in there, or turned it on too early? That would f'ing HURT!"
So tonight, I can assure you, it hurts like a motha.
How did I get out of my predicament you ask? Well, I threw the blender on the floor, pulling it out of the wall in the process. Like it was a snake. Or a rat. Something horrible that unexpectedly leaped out and bit my damn finger. Not like I had turned on the blender while my middle finger was in the mixer. No, no, it was more like "WTF!?" So now you know.
And if you were also wondering if and how you can scream extremely loud, SILENTLY, well, just ask me. Cuz no way in HELL I was waking up the baby I just put to bed because I mangled my finger in the blender. Hell NO!
In other news, if you know me at all, you would know that I spend some time moonlighting as a baker of cookies. I take it pretty serious actually, like in terms of critical feedback. So I finished the cookies. Hell YES I did. My hand is hurting a bit now too. Oops.
In other, other news, the oven that worked ONCE and never again got fixed today. Yeah, you know that stove. The ONLY single thing we kept from the old nasty kitchen? Yeah, that "freebie?" A mere $300 fix. But let me tell YOU! Oh yes, this is exciting! That oven, holy mother, it heats up from 0 to 325 in about 4 minutes. This is insanity. It's a gas oven. So you have to spend 5 minutes dreading that gas is filling your room with the loud hiss that it emits, meanwhile distracting yourself from more important and logical dangers like GETTING YOUR FINGER OUT OF THE BLENDER BEFORE TURNING IT ON DUMBASS, but once it heats up at warp speed, the hissing stops, and all is well.
There's our buddy Lenny, who says "buddy" a lot, even when it doesn't seem to make sense. That door was a total headache. 
